Whatever happened to...
by Girlbrainiac
Summary: Whatever happened to the Fairy Tale Characters after "And they lived Happily Ever After..." Titles so far: Rapunzel, Cinderella, And Jack. Please r/r!
1. Rapunzel

Rapunzel

Rapunzel

And they lived happily ever after…

For a few years at least.

Not long after they were married, Rapunzel and the prince had a daughter whom they named Sage.

Years passed and the old king died, the prince was crowned king, and Sage grew into a beautiful girl with long golden hair like her mother's, beautiful green eyes and rosy cheeks. She was the most beautiful girl in the kingdom.

Sage liked to frolic in the garden next door where an evil enchantress lived. This woman was an ugly old hag that didn't like anything except changing animals to stone, irony, and her most precious garden. 

One day, Sage was frolicking when the hag came out disguised as a friendly old woman. "What is your name dear? There is no reason to be afraid of old Amah. I won't hurt you."

"Well my name is Sage and I live in the castle next door. My father is the king. I'm sorry for trespassing but your garden is so lovely, I had to get closer."

"That's all right dear. Just think of me as your Grandmother. Won't you come inside for a bite to eat and something to drink?"

"Yes, thank you."

Sage followed the woman into the house. The woman quickly locked the door behind them. "Your name is Sage? That's the name of a plant I have in my garden, and pretty soon my pretty you'll be one!"

Before Sage could scream, a hag was standing before her and she, Sage, was a plant. The hag planted her in the garden with the other sage plants, underneath a sign that read: SAGE.

***

Queen Rapunzel tasted the soup that the royal chef was cooking. "It's missing something. I don't know what it is but it is definitely missing something."

She looked out of the window and saw a sign in the garden next door that read: SAGE.

"That's what it needs, sage."

"Your daughter?"

"No! The plant! My husband will get it for me. You stay here and keep cooking."

Rapunzel found him in the throne room after looking for half an hour. "There you are. I want you to go next door and collect sage, the plant, mind you! Take it to the cook. If you don't, no golf for a month!"

He grumbled, but still went into the garden next door. He met a kindly old woman (who in truth was the hag) who was more than happy to show him around. "And this, is the finest plant in my garden," she pointed to a sage plant, the one that happened to be his daughter. 

"My wife sent me here to get a sage plant. May I have this one?"

"Well, I am partial to it… but I would be honored for you to have it! So go ahead and take it. Boil it in a soup."

So the king delivered the sage to the cook, who boiled it in soup. All the time it was cooking, the soup seemed to scream softly, but it couldn't be heard in the loud kitchen.

Everyone in the castle ate it all, and complemented the cook. They didn't realize the princess was missing until the next week. They never found her.

The hag was laughing all the while.

Moral: Watch what you eat.

A Very Fractured, The End.


	2. Cinderella

Cinderella

Cinderella

And they lived happily ever after…

Ha. HA. Ha! HA! That's a wheeze!

The truth is this marriage wasn't very happy. You'll see why.

"I never agreed to marry you! Men are so arrogant!" Cinderella yelled at her husband. "You think that just because I danced with you that you can just steal me away and marry me! Well, Buster you can't! You never asked me to marry you! You just assumed! I'm leaving!"

She stormed out of the castle.

Just down the road, she met a man that sold a boy some magic beans for a cow. "Hit the road Jack!" she yelled at the boy.

"What's wrong with her?" Jack asked the old man. The man just shrugged his shoulders.

She kept on storming down the road.

She then came to a funny little house. It was dusty and dirty. "I can hide from the biggest joke on the planet here. It needs cleaning up, but it will do."

She cleaned the house all day, washing dishes, sweeping floors, getting rid of cobwebs, and dusting. 

Then she went upstairs, where she saw seven small beds with names like Grumpy, Sneezy, and Doc carved into them. "Oh, these must belong to the last inhabitants. I'll just put them all together to make a bed big enough for myself."

She did so and went to sleep.

"Some body's been sleeping in my bed and they're still here!" said a voice on the other side of the door. Cinderella jumped up. She seemed to be sleeping in the smallest of three beds. That's interesting, she thought, How did I end up in this strange room? For, in fact, she was not in the same place she had fallen asleep in… but she couldn't worry about that now!

"H-h-h-who's th-there" she called.

"THE PERSON THAT OWNS THIS PLACE! WHO ELSE?! Do you want to be arrested for breaking and entering? You have the count of ten to get out of that room! Or else! One… two… three…" Cinderella rushed through the door…

And into the hands of three bulls! A mommy bull, a daddy bull, and a baby bull. Cinderella didn't know where to run. The mommy bull was blocking the entrance!

Cinderella suddenly realized something. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A MOMMY BULL! Knowing this fact to be true, she rushed towards the mommy bull (which couldn't be standing there because there's no such thing). 

Unfortunately, she hadn't taken into account the fact that this was fairy-tale land, where things that weren't supposed to be true, were. She slammed right into the mommy bull (who didn't exist) with a force that sent her reeling.

It took her a minute to recover.

When she regained her senses completely, she remembered that she wasn't Cinderella at all… SHE WAS LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD!

This fact didn't make the bulls too happy. Their most hated color is red…

Red Riding Hood ran screaming through the woods, with one imaginary and two real bulls chasing her. What she needed most of all at that moment was a bullfighter.

Moral: Always remember who you are…

A Very Fractured, The End.


	3. Jack

Jack

And they lived happily ever after…

"Jack! Jaaaaaaack! Where are you boy?" his mother screamed across the castle.

"Coming, Mother!" he yelled back from the other side.

He ran down the stairs, up the stairs, through the hall, through the kitchen (he managed to overturn the giant's widow), through the next hall, and through the closed door. "Here-I-am-Mother," he managed to gasp out. 

"Next time, come as soon as I call."

"I did."

"I don't want to hear it! Don't talk back! Now Jack, you know as well as I do, that Betsy, our cow, always gave the sweetest milk. Why, we haven't had milk for ages. I want you to find the man who you traded her to (after you fix this door) and I want you to say that the beans were unsatisfactory and that you want a refund. Now hop to it! I don't want to see you 'til you have that cow with you."

It took him about an hour to fix the door he had busted through. After that part was done, he went into the kitchen and apologized to the widow.

"Oh that's all right Jack, I know yore ma can have a right tempa now an again. Here take some of these right fine san'wiches," she said as she handed him a medium sized parcel. "I know that a body can get right starved doin' all that walkin'."

He put the parcel in a knapsack and grabbed an umbrella to parachute down with.

When he got to the edge of the cloud where he lived, he yelled "Geronimo!" and parachuted to the bottom.

The umbrella wasn't such a good parachute.

Moral: Don't take what they write in stories seriously, you might land with a splat, just like poor Jack.

A Very Fractured, The End.


End file.
